“How are you?”
It’s the easiest way to answer such question. I mean, unless you nearly died or in deep hurt, you’d probably say you’re just okay.
A quote from Every Day by David Levithan says:
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time okay is enough.”
But what’s sad about being okay is that you’re neither too happy to jump around and tell everybody about it nor too sad to call someone out of nowhere and cry your heart out.
It’s neither black nor white. It’s just grey.
And being in that middle ground can be numbing in itself.
That’s why okay sometimes means you’re really not okay. Although okay is enough, just being okay is not always okay.
From there, I could easily tell you: You know what? It’s okay not to be okay… and tell you stuff about getting through your emotions.
But, no, not now.
I’ve learned that sometimes, you don’t even recognize you’re not okay. Sometimes, you’re settling for the things you feel like you can’t control, not knowing you’re already settling for the bad stuff. And sometimes, you just need to say you’re okay because what you feel isn’t too extreme to be told or shown.
But what I’m gonna tell you now is that, you shouldn’t be scared of feeling.
I’ve read somewhere that the way to understand a poem is to feel it and I couldn’t agree more. I love poetry. And the thing I love the most about it is that if you see yourself through the poem, you, yourself, will give meaning to it.
That’s how it is with yourself, too. If something makes your heart flutter, feel it. If something makes you a little sad, feel it. Because when you feel it, you recognize it as an emotion – that’s when you understand it.
From there, it’s black and white.
I’m not saying settling for okay is bad. But I believe David Levithan was pertaining to accepting things just the way they are when you can’t do anything about them anymore. However, to keep yourself from feeling and say you’re okay is a different story.
I know feeling deeply can be too overwhelming. But the thing is, you have to feel good about the good stuff and feel bad about the bad stuff because that way, you know how you really are and how you really feel.
Lots of love,